Recap

It's been a month since my surgery and so it's time for a recap. First, the surgery is not for the faint of heart. It took 6 hours of cutting and grinding on my spine before the surgeon called it good and sent me to the recovery room. Now, to be honest, this surgeon did his best to make sure I understood what was going to happen. His words to me, a year and a half ago, were, 'I'm going to put a world of hurt on you.' And then just before the surgery, You've never felt pain like this. You ready?' And he was right. I had a thoracotomy about 30 years ago and I thought that was the most painful thing I had ever endured. So now I have a new benchmark for pain, a four vertebrae laminectomy.

The pain was managed quite well in the hospital because the meds are almost always given by IV and the effects are felt right away. At home I have to use the oral route and means a good thirty minutes might pass before I see any relief. Plus the fact that nerve pain is very difficult to manage. Only opiates can touch it and then not well. Bone pain is also one of the worst to try and manage. It's the same story; opiates are the only thing that control bone pain. The pain from incision site and the muscles beneath is a distant memory, if there ever was any pain at all? Truth, I don't remember it.

Today, a month later, I can usually manage the pain with Norco and nothing else. I do have some Dilaudid if I need it, which is rare. Even with the Norco, the pain is always there, just muted. Early mornings are some of the worst times as the Norco has worn off and the first one of the day hasn't begun to work. Plus, I've been laying flat for six hours or more and muscles are stiff. I have to 'log roll' to get out of bed and sit on the edge. My walker is a few feet away from me and I have to stand and reach for it. Painful! And it continues as I shuffle into the kitchen to make some tea. It usually takes thirty minutes or more before I can say that the pain is now in the background and I can think of other things. Does it ever go away? Never.

That's probably the thing I hate the most; the pain never goes away. And the management of that pain is now my life. Early in the morning, it feels hopeless and I'm quite depressed about it. But, at seven, I take my antidepressants and that feeling goes away. 'Better living through chemistry!' I can handle the pain, most of the time, throughout the day. I even abandon my walker! Luckily, the day always includes a two hour nap, which gives me a break from reality. By evening I'm quite conscious of the pain again and try to do as little as possible. 'Let sleeping dogs lie.'

I will be seeing the surgeon next week and will learn more about my future. I know, because he told me, that I have six months to a year to recuperate from this surgery. And I know I have only put in a month so far. So I must hope that it gets easier. Not much else for me to do…