Soon?

Where are we in relation to a cure? Who knows! I'm a little over a week away from seeing a second surgeon for a consultation. Consult, not cure. We will talk and that's all we will do that day. But maybe…just maybe he will have a good idea as to how I can get back to being a productive member of society; maybe even a competitive member. One must hope.

Let's say he tells me that surgery will do that for me and I can get it done relatively quickly, maybe late spring; that will give me summer and fall for physical therapy and then in January of 2010, I can resume training for the marathon I missed in 2008. I like that thought!

Why Me?

Do I sound depressed? I try not to, but I wonder if the Wellbutrin is working as it should or as I hoped it would. I put on a good face, a smiling face whenever I can. But the grim reality of my situation doesn't go away with a grin. This morning I was thinking that perhaps, I should just go to Bidwell Park and start training again; go for a fast 3 miler. Ignore the pain and perhaps it will simply go away. I'm tempted. But I doubt that my legs would sustain me for that distance. Yesterday I noted that I had lost a lot of muscle mass in my legs. They are becoming skinny legs. Chicken legs. It's now been a year since I trained. Training for my 6^th marathon; the Portland Marathon to be exact and the 4^th one in that lovely city. That's not happening. And now my marathon blog has become a pain and frustration blog. I suppose it's a good enough spot to vent my frustrations; as good as any.

Speaking of frustration; I have two+ weeks left before I see the surgeon for a second opinion. And then…how long before the actual surgery, if he agrees that surgery is the cure? And that is not certain. As I was telling a friend the other day, I just want to know my true situation. Can the Spinal Stenosis be 'cured' enough for me to resume my life as it was? I would even agree to give up racewalking if I could just walk and work normally again. Or, if this is the way it's going to be, for the rest of my life, tell me. Then I can get on with my life. I can adapt and learn to live with it, Right now, I'm in limbo and I don't like it.

Gabapentin

OK, I guess I have enough out there on my other blog for now. Time for another cup of tea and then some serious web browsing. I want to find out more about the Gabapentin, see how effective it might be. I've only been taking it for a week and just went to full dosage yesterday. It takes a couple of weeks, but still I wanted to know more…

And just like that, I found an article that proclaimed that Gabapentin worked in a test group.

Methods: Fifty-five patients with LSS, who had NIC as the primary complaint, were randomized into 2 groups. All patients were treated with therapeutic exercises, lumbosacral corset with steel bracing, and nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs. The treatment group received gabapentin orally in addition to the standard treatment.

Results: Gabapentin treatment resulted in an increase in the walking distance better than what was obtained with standard treatment (P = 0.001). Gabapentin-treated patients also showed improvements in pain scores (P = 0.006) and recovery of sensory deficit (P = 0.04), better than could be attained with the standard treatment.

Conclusion: Based on the results of our pilot study, extensive clinical studies are warranted to investigate the role of Gabapentin in the management of symptomatic LSS.

But, just as I was feeling good about what I had found, I found out that I could go no further in my reading. Page two of this study required that I be a 'health care professional' and log in. What's up with that? I'm the affected party. I'm the one with a need to know! Jerks!

OK, so I move on and browse some more, finding another article that tells me that Gabapentin probably won't work…

Link to first article

Link to second article

Some Day

Something new for Spinal Stenosis

But...it's still going through clinical trials and the closest one is in Santa Monica...

And another article...

It looks like I may have to go to Europe if I want relief.

Less Pain? Painless?

Yes and no. A new day and I do feel better than I did yesterday at this time. The pain is minimal right now and that's a relief. I had to take Vicodin again last night despite the fact that my morning, from 7 until about 1, was relatively pain free. Not completely, but bearable. I even did some cleaning work in the garage and I started the pool cleaning chores. Later, I went back to the garage and became involved in some art work, something that I have really missed doing. I couldn't sit or stand for very long, but it was still nice to feel a touch of creativity. This morning I will be taking more Neurontin and I'm hoping that it is the reason for the lessening of the pain in the morning. This is my 5^th day with Neurontin and so I must hope. I understand why I might have more pain in the evening, but if I can have relatively pain free mornings, I'm going to be very happy! And if it continues to help, I can think about walking again. Maybe even the bicycle? I can almost see the possibility of training once more. It's a glimpse!

In the meantime, I must wait for the surgical consultation next month.

Alternate Medicine

I was just putting another log on the fire and Boo the Cat was sleeping in front of the woodstove. She looked up briefly as I opened the door and placed the log on a bed of coals. Then she returned to her nap. A few years ago she would have bolted and run to another part of the house as soon as she saw me with something in my hand. Why do I write about this? Because Boo the Cat has become quite important to me. It's a fact that cats will reduce your blood pressure. Yes, they will. Dogs can't do that. Not that dogs aren't talented in their own way, they simply don't 'do' blood pressure. And pets relieve pain. That's something that dogs and cats can do together and with equal talent.

So Boo the Cat has now become my alternate pain reliever as well. When I lay down on the couch for a nap and a moment or two of pain relief, she will soon notice me and leap up onto my chest. Now she weighs about 7 pounds, but she can land light as a feather when she wants to. Once on my chest, she slowly moves up until she is snuggled under my chin. And we sleep.

More Complaints. Bah!

Life goes on. And I am very much aware of what kind of 'chemical stew' I am putting into my body these days. Part of me says, 'Stop' and then a more rational voice says that I'm tired of being depressed and in pain; these drugs might change all of that. I have to try. But, at the same time, I have to be very much aware of what my body is telling me and be prepared for any and all side effects from these drugs.

Now, to compound the problem, I am going to make an appointment to see the urologist for my BPH symptoms. There is the distinct possibility that I will have to begin taking one more medication for that condition. How will all of these drugs interact with each other? Well, I search on-line and I read everything I can about them and the more I read, the more worried I become.

I was reminiscing last night and remembered that it was just a year ago when I went to see a doctor about my pain; self diagnosed, Piriformis Syndrome. I was certain that I had an athletic injury; after all, I was an athlete. At the time I only knew one doctor and had only seen him twice, for my annual physicals. I was taking no drugs, not even vitamins and I was quite proud of that fact. OK, I was taking caffeine, about 6 cups a day.

At that time I was in training for my 6^th marathon. Now I look at myself a year later and I have been more correctly diagnosed with Spinal Stenosis (L-4, L-5 and S-1). I know 4 or 5 different doctors by name and I have visited a pain specialist, heart specialist, urologist, general surgeon and neurosurgeon. I have been to labs and to radiologists, and I'm waiting to see another neurosurgeon for a second opinion. On the plus side, I'm only taking 2 drugs for now, Wellbutrin and Neurontin, plus the occasional Vicodin whenever the Tylenol fails to stop the pain. I've seen elders my age that are taking a dozen or more. And no, I'm not training anymore.

How did all of this happen? How did I fall into the medical trap? I guess it's simply aging. It was time. That and the fact that I had abused my body for a good twenty years as a Sheetrocker. Lifting 120 pound sheets of drywall, bundles of studs and track plus all of the other equipment that came with the job. I carried 10-15 pounds of tools around my waist and climbed stairs, ladders and scaffolds. I pushed, I shoved and I lifted all day. And when we took a lunch break, we would sometimes challenge each other to see how far we could lift a 120 pound sheet of drywall by simply gripping it with two hands along the edge and pulling it up, flat footed. Once you had it off the ground, how long could you hold it with just the strength of your gripping hands? These contests were all very manly and established some sort of pecking order among us, but what fools we were. We simply never thought of the consequences or of the fact that we would all age eventually. We were all young and strong and would be that way forever.

And I really thought that my chosen sport, racewalking, was the very best thing I could do for my body. It's a very low impact, high cardio form of exercise. Sure, it looks funny and there are very few racewalkers in America, but I found a club and began training. Soon I was competing in short races and getting better at it. I was getting into the 10+ minute per mile class and I could sustain that pace for a 5K race. But I really wanted to do marathons and more; I wanted to become a Centurion, that is someone who can walk 100 miles in 24 hours. It wasn't a dream, it was within reach, after all, I was doing a marathon with a 13+ minute mile average and to become a Centurion only required a 14.4 minute per mile average. I could do it.

I think I better put that dream away for now. I really don't know whether I will ever do another marathon or not. I want to. And I remember my first marathon when I passed a guy at the 13 mile mark and was competing with an artificial leg. That meant he was faster and ahead of me for 13 miles. So maybe I can do it after I have surgery and rehabilitation. It will take time to get myself back in shape, to regain the endurance, but if a guy with one leg can do it, I should be able to do it as well.